Iquitos 06/12/13 Friday Purging Out Everything Negative

Morning

I was involved in an Ayahuasca ceremony last night, I didn't vomit and fell asleep within 2 hours. The experience was a lot more pleasant than my 1st ceremony and there were a lot more visuals in last night's ceremony, however I wasn't that impressed by the visuals as it only felt like mind-candy entertainment, these visuals exactly replicated my thoughts, so I could control my visuals to an extent. There was an ongoing theme and a pattern to my experience and it went like this: I would think of something then it will appear in front of me like in a movie where I'm the projector and the screen and the motion picture was my visuals, as I'm getting distracted and lost in the images I soon realise that they're just my thoughts and that these thoughts don't have any real existence and that they didn't make who I really was as they came and went, I told myself not to feed them, rather to just take them for what they were 'a thought', a harmless thought and not just mine but other's too. I kept on thinking, then tried not thinking, over and over again with the realisation that I don't have full control of my thoughts and that I don't possess an on & off button or even fully dictate my thoughts, similar to when I meditate; I get lost in my thoughts then I'm not with my thoughts, with my thoughts, without my thoughts. At the beginning of the ceremony I promised myself that I wasn't going to sleep before I purge but about 1 hour into the ceremony I started to yawn many times over and over again, and these weren't regular ‘before bed’ yawning but huge long ones where I made loud yawning sounds and when another 1 hour went by I was slept.

I just came back from drinking tobacco juice and I have never purged more in my life (this purging beats my 1st Ayahuasca ceremony's purging), I drank a cup of tobacco juice followed by a litre of warm water were I purged it all out pretty quickly but my stomach didn't feel right so I went for a 2nd litre as this is what the Shaman's wife insisted on me doing and yet again I purged, followed by another feeling of discomfort in my stomach, the Shaman's wife told me to drink my 3rd litre (I would have never drank it if she wasn't there), here I told here that I didn't need anymore water as I was exhausted and in pain so it was me and her arguing for 10 minutes but then she finally convinced me and I drank the 3rd litre in one go then purged immediately whilst making very load heaving noises. When I purged I knew that this was the last time that I needed to vomit and there wasn't going to be a 4th litre, out came the tobacco juice, water and all the crap that was stored in body for years, it felt like all the negative energies were poured of my whole being, I felt refreshed, happy, relieved and energised. The great feeling I had after purging the tobacco outweighed last night’s Ayahuasca experience. I hugged and thanked the Shaman's wife. Later on I had a fruit bath were a lady rubbed mashed fruit all over my body then a short while later I had a lot to eat for lunch as there wasn't going to be any dinner due to tonight's ceremony. I was in a group discussion today and had a lot of my questions answered by Lucho regarding last night's ceremony, I told him about how I was projecting my thoughts into a movie and how I I tried to not think and just be with my real self. He told me to focus and meditate. Simple but honest advise. I also asked him what the difference was between Ayahuasca and San Pedro in which he replied that San Pedro is a loving father figure were you have more of a pleasant experience than Ayahuasca, however overall Ayahuasca is better as it is a great healer. I'm now off to my plant bath which is going to be followed by my 3rd Ayahuasca ceremony.