Morning
Last night I took part in my first Ayahuasca ceremony and earlier this morning I drank and threw up tobacco juice at the Maloka (large circular wooden building used for Ayahuasca ceremonies), we were given a mattress, pillow and cover each and assembled ourselves in a circle where all of us were very close to the walls, most people slept the night in the Maloka. The ceremony last night began at 7pm but I was at the Maloka at 6.30pm were most of the people were already there, there were about 12 people who flew from all over the world to this retreat. The first person to Don Lucho’s (the Shaman) right was the first to drink the Ayahuasca then went in order in an anti-clockwise motion, I was directly opposite Lucho on the other side of the Maloka facing him so I was about the 6th person to drink Ayahuasca and after everyone drank the Ayahuasca, Lucho (in the same order) blew tobacco smoke on each person to get rid of any negative spirits that where surrounding them. Around 30 mins into the ceremony I started to feel some mild effects (this is when Lucho started to sing his Icaros and when the only candle in the Maloka was blown out) and felt a little disorientated in the darkness, within 1 hour the full effects kicked in. At this point my eyes were closed for 30 mins and I started to see very complex patterns moving, I couldn't focus on the patterns but nonetheless they were there, this was my 1st Ayahuasca experience but the effects were huge as I was informed that people don’t usually get big effects on their 1st drink. About 1 hour into the ceremony I needed to go to the toilet and was thinking about getting Jeremiah’s (1 of the 2 English-Spanish translators) attention so that he could walk outside with me to the toilet but I knew that this was going to be a challenge as I was struggling to move properly as well as structuring an approach on how to get his attention, the whole room was almost pitch black. I grabbed my phone and shone it onto someone and asked “are you Jeremiah?” in which he responded with a hand gesture by pointing to a man to the left of him so I got Jeremiah’s attention, we started to walk out of the Maloka but as soon as I stepped my foot out of the entrance I vomited in large quantities everywhere (nearly on Jeremiah) and I did so about 10 times, I have never vomited as much in my whole life! I felt extremely good after the vomiting as it felt like all my negative energies were poured out of me and I felt a great sense of relief, after the vomiting I still had great difficulties in walking but Jeremiah helped me out and eventually I got to the toilet, however it took us about 5 mins to get there when it should of only taken 30 seconds. Throughout the ceremony I was having an ego battle and at times I felt very lonely and thought to myself “why am I only experiencing this identity?” When I got back to the Maloka I struggled to find my bed, however eventually did, from here I have no idea on what event took place at what time, it was all over the place, the effects were way stronger when I had my eyes closed but when I had them opened my ego started to resist everything and tried to make sense of everything by creating concepts and ideas on where and who I was and reassured itself that it was in a Maloka in an Ayahuasca ceremony and that I’m going to wake up and things are going to be the way they were, so throughout the night I went through a habitual pattern of closing and opening my eyes (lasting about 30 mins each) which helped, as when the effects got too intense I would open my eyes and feel slightly more at home again. At times I went through very dark and negative stuff but looking back on it, it feels like I was letting this darkness into me and that I could of stopped it at any point instead of letting it be. Lucho was singing his Icaros for hours and hours. (maybe 6hrs!) What a hard worker. This helped me a lot as it made me feel less lonely, also when I was going through negative things Lucho would make these loud spitting noises towards me to get rid of the darkness. I was taken to a place where the ego wasn't present and I was everything and everyone, the experience was too divine (the-vine), bewildering and messy to put into words, I saw something that represented the ultimate (your most natural state), and this represented me and everyone else. I could shift my attention on everything that was happening to me; the sounds, visuals, confusion, ego. I got up at 7am in the morning feeling exhausted and slightly dazed when I saw Lucho giving everyone a cup of tobacco juice and I felt that my stomach couldn't handle this now but I knew that it was needed so I drank it, followed by a litre of warm water, soon after I threw up and in comparison to the majority of people that were there, my purging was done and over with pretty quick. Everyone in the retreat is very nice and to my surprise, the first lady I spoke to in the retreat worked 5 mins away from me in London! A 1 in 1000 chance. Just before and after drinking Ayahuasca, I smoked some jungle tobacco called Mapacho which made me feel a little light headed but I was told it that it’s useful for getting rid of negative spirits and good for grounding myself to Earth.
Afternoon
I just finished a Reiki session in my Tambo with a lady named Lucia, she used a Quartz crystal to get rid of my negative energies also coconut oil which smelt absolutely amazing. I was topless on my back and stomach for 30 mins. I now feel a lot more relaxed, energetic and warm in comparison to how I felt in the morning, where I was drained and tired. I gave her $20 voluntarily. At one point when she was working on me I felt an energy in my forehead, right around my Pineal gland. She hovered her hand across my entire body throughout the 30 mins.
Evening
I just came back from dinner and the portion size was quite small so I went for seconds, I had red cabbage, scrambled omelette and boiled egg, everything was fresh and grown locally. Before this I was in the Maloka with the Bora tribe, we danced with them for a while and some of them were selling jewelry and souvenirs so I got my Mum an Ayahuasca necklace, my sister a bracelet, I got myself a large Ayahuasca necklace as well as a bow & arrow set, all of the jewelry that I purchased contains healing properties.
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